Weekends here go by too fast. There just isn’t enough hours in the day. I try to plan my days out hour by hour, trying not to waste a single minute, but it’s just so much nicer to play the days out as time goes by. These past two days, I’ve had a lot of thinking time, whether it was finishing up my tattoo, burning one or two in the car, going for a run, or just relaxing in my room talking to friends. Over all that, I’ve daydreamed plenty, and pondered on how I feel about my life right now. And every time, it’s so easy to tell myself “I’m good.” Then you have that thought in the back of your head asking if you really are.
I guess a couple bad things can be a downer. No lie, liking Hauck affected me a lot more than I expected it to, a lot more than liking any girl that I have in a minute. I mean, it wasn’t even anything, nothing close to dating. Maybe it was just cool having a friend like that again, or maybe it really was that weird ass laugh of hers that I smile at when I hear it from the next room. And just the way our friendship has seemed to drop all of the sudden after the incident, has been a bummer. And that’s all just one thing that my brain constantly brings up.
And then I take that puff, laugh at something, or put one of those songs, and all the good things about my life right now come back and I can smile and truly tell my self that I AM good.
All that, is basically how my brain works everyday. I didn’t really talk about my weekend, but I needed to write this down, and let it out. I can’t keep letting this one thing hold me down. I’m at a peak of my life right now and I know there’s only more to reach. I’m done. Let’s be cliche and and this shit with a quote from one of my favorite rappers.
“You know how a motherfucker say you’re here for something? I believe that shit. And I believe I’m here for nothing else but this, what I’m doing.” -Lil Wayne
Cheers, and goodnight.
